Kiss
Puke
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
