is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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