I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
