She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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