WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
