I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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