i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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