New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
