maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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