I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
