hotel room ftw
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
