I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
