While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
