No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
