I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
