i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just cut my nipple shaving
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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