Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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