chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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