my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
