Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Randomize
