DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
