her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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