If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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