why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
