In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize