What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cannot find my penis.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
