The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize