my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
