Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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