I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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