turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
