i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
