i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
