kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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