don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize