3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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