sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Boobs are out for the taking
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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