OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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