so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
