oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize