I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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