Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
