Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
