Will you blow on my dice?
youre lurking in front of me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize