She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
