wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
