I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
