You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
