Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
