I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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