took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
