Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
