Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize