Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize