It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
