normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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