you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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