i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She made me pour olive oil on her.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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