Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
