I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
