He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize