some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
