apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
