Are we in a gay sports bar?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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